Apocalypse Wow.

Overheard at a Lost and Found department:
"Could you describe your black umbrella?"

Some Kind Of Punderful.

Shouthouse?
Cryptonite?

The Tortoise And The O'Hare

I Shod The Sheriff,
But I Did Not Boot
The Deputy.

The Bitter Way

The Toronto transit authority is striving
to improve customer service.
The other day, saw the streetcar driver give up his
seat to a little old lady.

Special Delivery.

When I was born, the doctor slapped
my face.  Then he gave me a cigar.

Nepotism is relative.

Phoned Workaholics Anonymous.
The line was very busy.

A Ticket To Writhe

On a streetcar.
Woman behind me on her cellphone.
Trying to give her Dad directions to
where to meet her.  Droning on
and on.  Guy in front of me
says:  "Two words;  Google Maps."