Martooner

One day I was walking down
the street in the Annex when
I saw a couple ahead of me
kissing as they stood on the
sidewalk. As I got near them
I said, "You can't do that here,
this is Toronto." They stopped
kissing and the woman said,
"Yes, but we're from Montreal."
Another time there was a woman
I had seen a lot in my neighbourhood.
One day I asked her where she was
going. "I work at the ROM" she said.
"When in ROM..." I said. "Do as the
ROMans." she replied.

Smooth Operetta

I've only been to
the Opera twice.
I quite enjoyed it.
Wish I could speak
Italian, French or
German, though.
I don't believe we've
MET.

Sold To The Highest Ibidder

On my daily walk.
On Queens Quay when
I notice a guy lying
under a Blue Jays Blanket.
At his feet is a sign on a
piece of cardboard which reads;
"Broke and Ugly. Can you help me?"
I'd suggest contacting a philanthropic
plastic surgeon.

A Pigment Of Your Imagination

"Here's your coffee, sir."
"You don't have to call
me 'sir'."
"My name is Martin."
"How about Sir Martin, then?"
"That'll do."