I Feel Your Champagne

``Hey, the expiry date on this champagne
is December 30th 2012.``

The Bettor Way.

The T.T.C. wants to improve
customer service.
Seems to be working.
I was riding a streetcar
the other day and the driver
gave up his seat to a little old lady.

Double-Double Take.

A Spy In A Tim Hortons:
A Double-Double Agent.

Yule do for now.

Santa at the psychiatrist's.
Santa says:  "I give and I give
and what do I get in return?"
"Milk and cookies."
A king awakes to find
all kinds of peasants under
the xmas tree.

Cologne Again Naturally.

Eau de Humanity.
Eau Say Can You See.
Eau Brother.
Eau Oh.
Eau Please.
Eau No.

Torontocentric Jazz Jokes

1:  Get Me To Church On Time.
2:  Come Park N Fly With Me.
3:  A Nightingale Sang In Yonge and Dundas Square.

Jack Of All Tirades. Master Of Pun.

Overheard on a movie set:  "I do my own stunts."
"Yeah, well I do my own production assisting."

Heir Turning Grey.

A clown decides to retire and hand
over the business to his son.
His son says;  "I don't know, Dad."
"Those are very big shoes to fill."