The Devil And The Debussy.

Early Music:

When The Symphony gets

the jump on the conductor.

The Fab Four Seasons

Norwegian Woodwinds.

Get Bach/Classical Beatles

Come Toccata.

Hey Prelude.

The Fugue On The Hill.

I Want To Hold Your Handel.

TaxTelemann.

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's

Club Sarabande.

Lady Sonata.

Yule Do For Now

Old enough to know to read the fine

print, but need special glasses.

Been around the block a few times,

but still can`t find a !%?&" parking

place.

Poutine On The Ritz

I worked my way up from

unpaid intern to unpaid CEO.

Embrace Yourself

Take it to the limo one more time.

"Hey, who put my homework in

the cookie jar?"

To Have And To Cuckold

I'm an annual optimist.

Slippery When Wed.

Here's Tofu, Mrs. Robinson.

The Merchant Of Venison

My favourite subject in

High School?

Sweat-shop.

Ground Control To Uncle Tom

Can vegetarians meet?

Ground Control To Peeping Tom

Overheard at a hairstylists:

"Last time I let a Temp do

my Perm."

Write On

They say "write what you know."

Here goes:

.

It Don't Mean A Thing If It Ain't Got That Bling.

Saw a gaggle of geese heading south.

One of the geese had a sign on its

back which read "Honk If You're

Canadian."

The Butter Way

The T.T.C. is striving to

improve customer service.

It's working.

Saw a bus driver give

up the driver's seat to

an elderly lady.

Hey Mister Trampoline Man...

Blue Condo A La Turk.

Been There. Dundas.

She crossed my mind and

the room.

Beatles 2011.

Baby you can drive my hybrid.

GPS I Love You.

New Kid On The Blog

Bytes In White Satin.

Never Reaching The End.

E-mails I've Written Never

Meaning To Send. But I

Like You, Oh How I Like You.

Pharmacists Do It Over The Counter

Pharmacist handed me my

prescription and said: "Enjoy."

Why did the existentialist cross the road?

Because it was there.

Grandstanding Room Only

Jack Of All Tirades.

Master Of Pun.

The Great Mundane

Your little black dress

has put us in the red.

First Among Sequels

Haughtily Ever After.

Spin The Battle

D.J. Seuss: Hip Hop On Pop

Outstanding Room Only

So who's the genius at Shoppers

who put the blood pressure test

machine next to the sports

bras and undies?

The Good The Bad And The Snuggly

Doctor Masseuse. RMT Ph'D

GPS I Love You.

Things to say while waiting for

a streetcar: "Whaddya think?"

"Think it's a myth?"

"The Bitter Way?"

"Red Rocket Science."

"Chit" My Cabby Says.

"I could have dunced all night."

Donkey Quixote

Woman sitting on a donkey.

She asks her husband;

"Does this ass make my pants

look big?"

There's A Bad Honeymoon Rising

With a group of people waiting for the shuttle bus

to take us to the IKEA store.

I say to another customer; "They must be

assembling it."

Hirsute Case

Trivial Hirsute.

Warming Up To The Eighties

The big sunglasses and now leg warmers.
The Eighties are back.
Things I saw while on my walks.
A sticker on a hydro pole that read
"I 'heart' jokes." Me too, babe.
Fun licence plates at U of T.
One said "Dontdoit."
Another said "Ieatpux."