Going Thru The Emotions

At a friend's place.
Listening to Breakfast In
America by Supertramp.
The album still holds up.
And I guess we do, too.
Well, mostly.
Reminds me of being in
residence at Dalhousie
University.
There's a bunch of us
in one guy's room.
We're stoned, listening
to Crime Of The Century.
One guy who fell asleep,
suddenly wakes up and
says, "Well this is it, eh."
Then he falls back to sleep.
We all laughed.
I guess you had to be there.
(In body, if not spirit.)

Flight Of The Killer BumbleBees

At a grocery store
(I know, I know, yet again.)
Saw Mark Gane and
Martha Johnson of
Martha and The Muffins
fame.
I was going to ask them
if they knew where the
"Cheesie's and Gum" were,
but I wimped out.
Echo Beach came out in
1980, far away in time.

Lipstick On Her Gentleman's Collar

My baseball cap
says: "Let's go to the
Ex." But I'm not even
divorced.

Just Say Volcano

"Icelandic Volcanic Eruption."
Wasn't that a song by Frank Zappa?

Sister Sledge Hammer

My favourite time period
for pop music was 1977-83.
You had New Wave, Punk,
Disco, Reggae and Pop.
The Police's career spanned
this time. Their music
synthesized the best elements
of all of these.
I have a 20 minute exercise routine
which I call "Bakerobics"
This consists of dancing around the
condo unit to music.
I often use 5 songs in a row
from the Police's album
Ghosts In The Machine.
Beginning with the song
"Hungry For You." and
ending with "One World."
Billy Joel also had some great
albums during this time.
I particularly enjoy "My Life"
and "Rosalinda's Eyes."
The Clash were also great
blenders of genres.
I remember seeing Bruce Cockburn
in concert in Halifax.
Someone in the audience yelled;
"Play your favourite song!"
Cockburn said "I really like
'Lost In The Supermarket'
by the Clash, but I don't know
how to play it."
Although I disliked Disco at the
time, in retrospect it wasn't all
bad.
Listen to "We are family" by
Sister Sledge and try not to
feel like dancing.
There's even hints of Jazz in
this song.

Baby's Got Back-Up

Waiting for a bus.
Woman dressed in brown
with brown hair,

walking a brown poodle
which stops
to take a brown poo.

The woman picks it up
with a brown plastic bag.

Woman says: "Good girl"
three times and goes on
her merry way.

Succor Borne Every Minute

Parents of a new born
are looking out for #1
and #2.
One of my musical "guilty
pleasures" is "How deep
is your love?"
by the Bee Gees.
Also the song "Guilty"
by Barbra Streisand.
Can't explain why, just
happen to like 'em.
Young people today don't
know much about the t.v.
shows we grew up with.
They think "Lassie" is the
name of a shelving unit
at Ikea.

James Bond: 24 - 007

TO memories:

An August morn the sun is coming up
and we're heading out to walk
the "Miles For Millions."
At Harbourfront.
Signing my name in indelible
ink on a structure that will
be placed on the top of
the soon to be
finished CN Tower.
Riding bikes with my
brother from Bayview
and Sheppard down to
Union Station.
Rewarding ourselves with
and ice-cream bar from
Laura Secord.

Allow me to switch gears.
A Hairstylist greets a new,
rather large customer.
"Hi, I'm Nick."
Hello, I'm Tip."
"My friends call me
'Big Tip'."

Custer's Last One-Night Stand

On a TTC bus (yet again, you say)
There's a woman across from me
wearing a security guard uniform.
I tell her that I used to work security.
She said that today was her last day
with the firm and that she was going
to college to train to be a chef.
In fact she said, it was her cooking
skills that won over her new girlfriend.
A one night stand turned into a
relationship when her "conquest"
tried her pancakes the morning
after.
The Butter Way.

Mauve It On Over

On a TTC bus.
Notice a guy reading
Carl Honore's great book,
In Praise Of Slowness.
As I'm getting off at my stop
I say to the guy;
"Great book."
"Took me forever to
finish it."

A pessimistic view of
the future would see
us on an embankment
away from flood waters.
Gathered around a camp
fire started by rubbing our
hands together in the noxious
air.
Roasting our free range organic
low fat marshmallows, all
the while singing folk songs
like Stairway To Heaven or
Roxanne.

Silly Love Thongs

I remember being in grade
seven and a guy in grade nine
yelling at me across the field;
"Your epidermis is showing."
I checked my fly, my belt.
I couldn't figure out what he
was talking about.
Nevertheless I felt embarrassed.
I can't recall when I found out
what epidermis was, but I'm sure
I must have felt relieved.

Poem Is Where The Art Is

Here's a poem I wrote to
a friend in Nova Scotia.
She was turning 21 and
the Beer Store workers
in Toronto were on strike.
(See yesterday's post for
more details on the strike.)

Now that you've turned 21
You're entitled to lot's of
legal fun.
Anywhere you can have a beer.
Anywhere that is, but here.
The Beer Store worker's have
walked out.
Causing local beer lovers to pout.
Vodka, Gin, Rum and Rye.
It's enough to make you cry.
On your Birthday raise a
glass to me.
And wish an end to my
parched misery.

My New Law Firm: Nasty, Brutish and Short/Et Tutu Brute?

I was working at a British
style pub back in the Spring
of 85. The employees
of the Beer Store went on strike.
Slowly but surely, the pub depleted
their supply of draught.
Things were tense.
One particularly stressful night
a waiter told me I was working
too slowly. Then she told me to
f off.
The next day she apologized
and we became friends.
Amazing how a bit of profanity
can bring people together.

It's A Measure To Pleat You

Waiting for the shuttle bus to
take me to Ikea.
And waiting.
And waiting.
I turn to the person
next to me and say:
"They must be assembling it."

Buddy Can You Paradigm?

Fun with headlines.
when the G8 ministers came to Toronto
many moons ago, organizers were
not impressed with the status of our
washroom facilities.
The Toronto Sun had the following headline:
"G8 Pooh Pooh Our Washrooms."
I worked at the Sun on a job training program.
At the time there was a government minister
named Monte Kwinter.
I suggested the headline:
"The Kwinter Of Our Discontent."
A reporter at the Sun said:
"You're in the wrong business."
How prescient.

Good Friday, Man

Yesterday, at a Second Cup.
"Yes, sir?"
"Fifteen coffee's,"
"What?"
"Fifteen Coffee's"

"April Fool's!"